Life in a Small Town

Anyone who lives in a small town can relate to the fact that "everybody knows everybody's business"...or at least they think they do. When you have lost something, chances are your neighbors know where it is.  Your business, seems like community business.  When your kids screw up...you get a dozen calls from all of the "step-in parents" who treat your children like their own.
I grew up in a small town, then I moved to another one and I swore as an adult I would never end up there!   After we were married a few years we packed up our lives and headed for the  BIG CITY...and a couple years later we made the choice to come "home".
You wouldn't think that returning to an area that you had know all of your life would be culture shock, but it certainly was.  The BIG CITY we moved to was just outside of Dallas, Texas...Open 24/7, cars everywhere, people everywhere, buildings everywhere, I LOVED IT!! There was always something to do.  There was Culture and Art and Scenery!!  I remember the first night after we moved back and I rolled in to Baxter Springs, KS and was shocked at all of the stores that were closed at 8pm on a Sunday evening and I immediately thought, "what have we just done?!?"  But 3 young children and another on the way...it was the right move.
Adjusting to life back home didn't take long.  We quickly became involved in the schools and the community, volunteering to read with kids at Central, coaching soccer for Spring River Soccer Association and as the years passed the involvement grew.  We ran the Soccer League for several years, coached multiple teams at a time, coached Pee-Wee cheerleading for 6 (long) years, served as homeroom parents, Brownie leader, T-ball coach, Baseball coach and every other thing our kids were involved in.  We embraced the small town life and all of the know-it all drama that goes along with it.  As much as we would have liked to just live our lives and kept everyone out of our business, truth is...as involved as we were, it was difficult.
Now, to where is became an asset.
For every time over the past 11 years that I have uttered the words "WHY did we move back here to this damn small town!?!"...The universe has waited to answer me.  But this past July, the answer was there.
When Brian had his accident this community did what they always do...They talked! And they talked some more...they talked to their friends, their families, their employers and their churches.  They set into motion good deeds that I will never be able to Thank them enough for.
By the time Brian and I loaded the ambulance to head to the hospital I was getting calls and texts asking "what can we do?"  You see...when the postman walks by when you are being loaded in an ambulance and he calls his sister-in-law who is at the baseball field (on a Saturday in a small town...EVERYONE is at the baseball field!) and she begins to "talk" to those around her and tell them what she just heard and those small town folks start to spread the word...things happen.  Prayers happen. They called their pastors and on Sunday the community prayed together.  They posted their concerns on Facebook, they sent out mass texts and emails and called their friends to "talk" about it.  Those small town pot stirrers...they can rally a community, especially when they are talking about "one of their own".
We...were in awe!  We were also in shock.  Still not yet fully comprehending what had just happened to our lives, trying to console our children and listen to the doctors and grasp the information and still remember to breathe.  Overwhelmed doesn't even begin to describe it...both in a good way, and a bad way. I'm not sure that in those first few days that there would have been anything we could have asked for that we wouldn't have received. But...when you have a village of people coming at you...that is a lot of pressure.  From my view point I was simply trying to be strong for my husband and my children and my friends...and I felt immediately like I also needed to be strong for an entire town.  The cards, money, food, gifts came flooding in and Thanking people quickly became overwhelming.  I'm still trying to process what just happened.
As we sat in the waiting room on the morning after the accident, while Brian was in surgery...a lot of this small town sat with us. They were there early in the morning, coffee in hand...and they waited.  They hugged us, and they cried with us and they prayed for us...and again, it was overwhelming.  When church let out that Sunday morning, more of them came.  They brought food and drinks and toys for the kids and most of the time I simply did not have the words to express the gratitude.
When the Doctor called me back after the surgery was over to tell me that  the situation was just as he had thought, and that Brian had little hope of ever walking again...I had to walk out to that waiting room to tell not just my kids, but a town.
In the days following the surgery Brian was in a lot of pain and very restless.  We placed a sign on the door to his room that said " No visitors"...now that will stir people up!! "What do you mean we can't see him? We drove all the way from Baxter!" Yep, the wife is being a hard-ass...more to talk about.  But...the days turned into weeks and the community stuck with us.  The encouragement kept coming, the cards and letters and prayers kept coming.  The food and money and house supplies kept coming.  This town trimmed our trees, mowed our yard, painted our house, they moved EVERYTHING out of our house and fed our family...all while we were gone.
I had to laugh as I was told of the remodel that was about to begin...We've all had those conversations with our friends that sound something like this "If anything bad ever happens to me you had better get your butt to my house and grab the lock box from the closet and haul it out of there!"... Well, I never thought I would have to see the day!!  But I have the best friends ever, and they had already heard me say those words. Before I even had my wits about me to utter them again, they just called and said "We have the box!" LOL!!  You see, when a community is in your house to help you, your house becomes their house.  Your papers are no longer yours, your pictures are for everyone to see,  your cards and letters and personal belongings are at the mercy of anyone who volunteered to help.  That is OVERWHELMING!!  Oh I can only imagine the conversations..."Did you see how much their cell phone bill is" "Can you believe she keeps her house like this?" "I wonder why she is taking that prescription " I try to block it all out.
My kids were calling saying "Everyone has been here and they moved all of our stuff!"  "I can find my cheerleading shoes!" "My ipod is lost!!", "If I were the sugar, where would I be?!?!" And I try to explain, we just have to be patient, people are helping us and I was so out of control of it, it was frightening.
And then the day came that we loaded the car with our new life and drove away from the Rehab facility and headed home...back to the small town.  And you know what...they were there.  They were still dropping off food, still mowing the yard, still asking what they could do to help...and it was still overwhelming.  After 5 weeks of being surrounded by doctors and nurses and medical equipment I just wanted to come home to my kids and sit on the couch and be quiet.  I didn't want to answer any more questions like "How are you holding up?" "What can we do?" What do you need?" ...what I need is to resume my old life, can you help me with that?
Here is what we don't see while we are going through our own pain...the small town is in pain too.  They are in pain for us, they are in pain for one of their own, they are in pain for our parents who are small town citizens themselves...and all they can do, for us and to ease their own pain, is help.
Those kids that we coached in Cheerleading, Soccer and T-ball....those were the kids who were part of the 3 church youth groups that painted our house.  Those parents that we met during our kids activities, they were the ones helping move our stuff so we could have new carpet.  Those business owners that keep this town alive, they were messaging me, telling me to send my kids to their restaurants so that they could feed them dinner, they were donating to the fund set up at the local bank, and they were donating items to make household repairs.  You see, the old saying is true "It takes a village"
And just when you think you have dropped off of the radar, they are still there...
Just a week or so ago we received a card in the mail that said:
"You all have been on my minds and in my prayers so much lately. The events of this past year have changed everything for you except that "deep down" cheerful attitude and those million dollar smiles that make your family so special.  I can't imagine how difficult things have been, but I do know that you have inspired our community in a big way. Please know that we pray for you always!"
Again...overwhelmed.  This time with joy.  I cried as I read it, I cried as I just typed it and I have cried every time the reality of our situation has crossed my mind.  We cry a lot around here... :-)
It has been a challenge to let my guard down and let all of this happen around me, to embrace the fact that half of the population of BS,KS is "in the know" about our life.  But seeing and hugging everyone at the school events, having people ask you how you are when you are just running to the store for milk, and having the baseball coach tell Brian that "He WILL be back on that field!"...that is the kind of community involvement that makes us proud to live in this small town! I'm so thankful that all of those people were "all up in my business!
Go Lions!!

Baxter Springs, KS 

Youth Groups from Crossroads Christian Church, First Baptist Church and First Christian Church